Sunday, 26 August 2012
Death by training shoe!!!
It's that dreaded time of the year again when the school Summer break is almost at an end and us poor parents have to fork out a second mortgage to kit our children out in their new uniforms. I hate it! With. A. Passion! Every year I promise myself I am going to do it earlier and earlier during the holidays so that I am not left running about like a demented woman at the very last minute. But, inevitably I put it off because I know that the dreaded 'shoe hunt' will have me reaching for the wine!
Out of all the items that need purchased for going back to school, the hardest thing for us to find is appropriate footwear for FD. In the hate stakes its right up their with bikini waxes, root canal work, having your ex still think its OK to pee in front of you (yes that happened to me) waking up drunk in a neighbours garden with a garden gnome shoved into your bra (yep that too), and having a rabid dog hump your leg! Not that I've come across many rabid dogs humping my leg but I have had a dog pee on my head once! Anyway.............moving swiftly on...............
So, off we went on our little shopping trip with daughter and step son in tow. OH and The Human Dynamo trotted off into one shop and I took FD into another. But before we even got sitting down to try on a pair of trainers (FD can't wear school shoes because of pains in her joints of feet and crappy mobility), OH and step son arrived with a triumphant grin and The Human Dynamo wearing his new school shoes. 30 seconds it took them to buy shoes! 30 fecking seconds!!! It takes me longer to have a crap! Sorry for profanities but for goodness sake!
So, shop no.1, a sporting goods shop, we tried on 13 pairs of trainers. Some were too big. Some were too small. Some were not the right colour of pink / white / black /lime green! Some had a seam in the inside she could feel. Some nipped her toes. Some just 'didn't feel right.' Ahhh the joys of sensory issues. There's little point in saying to a child with sensory issues, 'wear them for a while and they'll soon feel right.' It just doesn't work. Though my husband did try this tact but I think the withering look I gave him meant he didn't dare say it again. The poor sales assistant by this point was sweating like a rhino running in and out of the store room, up and down ladders and generally a woman on a mission trying to find the right trainers. We thanked her for her help and left her to tidy a mountain of discarded shoe boxes.
Onwards to shop no.2 which was also a sporting goods store - same thing all over again. 15 pairs tried on. 15 pairs rejected. Until, success! We finally found a pair that she thought were OK. Well one of them felt OK. The other didn't feel quite as good as the one on her right foot! By this point I am looking up to the heavens and muttering under my breath 'beam me up Scotty!' And then I DID THE UNTHINKABLE!! I said, 'You'll get used to it when you wear them about the house for a day or two. OH's swivelled his head round so quickly at my words I thought it was going fall right off. I dared him to say something but he knew better! It was then FD's turn to glare at me! AND THEN.............I was a bad mummy. I bribed her! 'I'll buy you a new riding jacket if you try them at home.' Yes OK, OK! I know! Don't judge me people! I was desperate! And exhausted and crippled with backache pulling trainers off and on her feet! She agreed and off we went to pick up a riding jacket in the next aisle. We took our purchases to the check out and then DISASTER struck when the yummy looking bloke at the checkout said, 'you do know these trainers are different sizes. One is a size 5 and the other is a 5 1/2!' FD just glared at me again and said, 'I told you they felt funny.' Unfortunately they did not have another pair of trainers in that style or the size we needed so FD happily walked out to the car with her new riding jacket and still no trainers! The Human Dynamo had to be bought a very unhealthy sugary drink just to calm his frayed nerves and OH just didn't speak!
Next stop was shop No.3 which was another sporting goods shop with a huge supply of trainers! We instantly spotted the same type of trainers that we were going to buy in shop no. 2 but when FD tried on this pair they didn't feel right! By this point I was wishing that I had a huge bottle of wine in my bag! The thought of it actually made me lick my lips! So, we sat down in the shoe section and tried on EVERY pair of training shoes they had! And I mean EVERY PAIR! The sales assistant was lovely. I explained our predicament and she was great with FD, so friendly and chatty and most of all so patient. She was due to finish her shift just as we arrived but stayed on an extra half an hour so she could help us. She was a breath of fresh air! And, yes we did finally find the perfect pair of training shoes. FD was ecstatically happy as we headed to the checkout to pay.
The sales assistant's manager was behind the counter and I called her over and told her that I wanted her to thank the sales assistant on our behalf for her wonderful way with my daughter and her extreme kindness and being so helpful. She was thrilled. By this point I was so overcome with emotion and relief at finding the right pair of training shoes I almost began to cry!! I loosened my belt, took a deep breath and pulled up my Superwoman Knickers. It was time to go home!
So, the next time someone mutters on about how stressful getting kids kitted out for school is I am going to throw this blog at them!
Posted by JB JOHNSTON at Sunday, August 26, 2012